Sorry that most times we suck at being what we were meant to be

Don't expect something that has been well thought through. Don't expect something that is theologically sound nor universally true. Just take it as my rant, my processing of things that I feel in my heart after a rough time. I cant actually apologize for the church, I can only apologize for myself. But take it as my apology if any of those apply to you.

Sorry for all the times the church ever made you feel like a failure.

Sorry for all the times the church ever refused to be Jesus’ open arms to you.

Sorry for all the times the church did not reflect Jesus and what he would think and do at all.

Sorry for all the times you didn’t find the church to be a place for healing.

Sorry for all the times the church was the one making wounds worse instead of helping.

Sorry for all the times when people in the church judged you instead of reaching out.

Sorry for all the times when those “shepherds” didn’t come after you and told you everything would get better once you start coming again.

Sorry for all the times the church chased you out of the service with their glances.

Sorry for all the times when you didn’t even want to make it inside because of those.

Sorry for all the times the church caused you to hate God, to think he didn’t care.

Sorry for all the times the church told you wrong things about God.

Sorry for all the times the church presented a hateful, merciless, unloving God to you.

Sorry for all the times the church has pointed in the wrong direction and you hit a wall.

Sorry for all the times the church cared more about their precious little rights than about forgiving the wrongs.

Sorry for all the times the church looked down on you as if they never messed up before.

Sorry for all the times the church was trying to fix you rather than to listen.

Sorry for all the times the church locked grace away in a cupboard while you needed it most.

Sorry for all the times the church did not love you unconditionally.

Sorry for all the times the church failed you.

And I am so sorry for all the times that I have been that church to you.

I am so sorry for all the times that I am that church to you.

I am so sorry for all the times that I- even though I do not want to!- will be  that church to you.

I hope you won't turn away still, I hope you don't quit on God just because his people are a bunch of idiots sometimes. I hope you don't quit on God because you see my life and its inconsistencies. 

I hope that between all the nonsense that comes out of my mouth, there will also be hope. Because there is even hope for people like me. There is hope and love for people who aren't the least bit perfect.

I hope that while we mess up a lot, you will still find what we're really trying to get across. That as typical as that sounds: Jesus loves you.

And the same -cause we're freakin' lucky- counts for us. The church. The people of God who are mostly just as messed up as the rest of the world, but at least have hope.

And that brings me once more to a point where I get a glimpse of how big God really is. That while we keep messing things up, he forgives us.

End of the rant. 

“A church is a hospital for sinners, not a museum for saints.”

"The church is not a select circle of the immaculate, but a home where the outcast may come in. It is not a palace with gate attendants and challenging sentinels along the entrance-ways holding off at arm's-length the stranger, but rather a hospital where the broken-hearted may be healed, and where all the weary and troubled may find rest and take counsel together."

PS: Dear Church, please join me in trying harder! Please go after people and dont wait for them to come back! Please dont look down on people just because they sin differently than us!
Please represent the open arms of Christ again!